WSOP Fingerlings

Once again, the fertile rivers of online poker are teeming with untold thousands of poker fingerlings. Poker fingerlings hatched from the coupling of ESPN's WSOP Main Event coverage and each novice's fevered belief that they too have what it takes to swim back to the loftiest headwaters in next year's Main Event.

I, like many, started that way. Inspired by Luckymaker(*)...err Moneymaker's triumph in '04, I jumped into the churning, whirlpool-infested Class V rapids of Paradise Poker.

Long story short, my meager bankroll proved to be nutritious fodder for the more bigger, more adept fish. Reading through the hand histories now, I should have been sued for malpractice. No ace weak enough, no king naked enough, I was spewing chips like a diarrhetic horse.

However, there are spots in the histories where I'm the one laying the hurt on. For instance, I get pocket aces, and get all my money in performing an all-in reraise of a large bet on the turn after a three-diamond flop. After the three-minute Paradise pause, I see the error of my ways when he flips over the king-high flush.

I catch runner-runner aces for quads, the definition of a perfect catch.

I donk away the chips in minutes.

That brings me back to what is happening on PokerStars. Right now, there are 65,000+ players playing on 'Stars. In the months before the WSOP Final Table coverage, there were around 48K players logged on at any one time. (my very unscientific eyeballing of the situation)

What does that mean? For those of you playing higher limits, nothing. For those who play low limits like me it means learning to deal with complete idiots at the table.

"No big deal," you're saying now, "I deal with table idiots all the time." No, I'm talking about idiots, plural. For instance, you hold AKs on the button pre-flop. Three limpers and you raise 5BB. All three limpers call. The flop comes A-5-9 rainbow. The three limpers check to you, you value-bet the pot, only one of the limpers calls.

You are beat. The weak-ace playing donkey has drawn 2 pair. Miseducated due to TV poker, TV donkeys don't have a clue about the difference between short-handed final table play and playing against a few players still in a full table. I've never seen more second pairs played all-in as the last couple of weeks.

How to play? Sadly, there's not much you can do against a table of idiots other than play tight, then get lucky when the garbage hands inevitably come through. In the long run, you will find nourishment in the WSOP fingerling's bankrolls, just beware drowning under their onslaught.

(*) Not that I'm saying that Moneymaker is a bad player. He could obviously kick my ass with ease at the poker table. Wasting time obsessing about poker however, he would be toast against me.